literally just saw a set of pictures of my grandad and got reminded he passed away 7 years ago today and i don’t know why i feel just so overcome by it, like wow… 7 whole years and ugh
I am seriously friendzoned though tbh.
But she’s invited me down to whales to spend time where she’s from (going to invite the other girl we’re always in the library with too, but not the other guy cause his affections towards her apparantly worry her blah de blah aha)
and she said cheers bruv when i held her jacket then just mockingly said oh aha maybe i should say bruv to him alot and he’ll understand we’re just friends. (she said it once though to be fair)
AND IM THINKING ABOUT IT TO MUCH.
but lets face it,
the harsh bitter truth is that no one is attracted to someone who’s… large.
and i’ve wanted to do it for years anyway, i just never get started.
but i think my first step now is to try and stop drinking for a month and slip in some exercise when and where i can.
Well who knows! Like last year my best friends who have known each other for 5 years got together and now I’m in the same sort of position they were in. Just gotta go with the flow and regardless you’ve still got a great friend! Good luck ^^ xx
aha thanks tim. im just being hopeful i guess, but i’d rather be a really good friend and be there through her life than nothing at all so im scared that maybe trying something would make what isnt like a solid friendship yet collapse!
and there’s another guy on my course who likes her but she’s not interested, cause he’s got a good personality but she’s not physically attracted to him (doesn’t help me feel comfortable with my body aha)
and then she owned up that i actually look like her ex but he was a ‘twig’ as such and properly skinny so theres more chances out the windowww.
i think il still be going the library with her it seems, not sure if she just doesnt wanna be here with me aha but at least she wants to spend time with me still ^_^ which is still super cool given i’ve seen her the last couple of days aha
Being a hopeless romantic in a world that’s predominantly sex orientated is just impossible.
tidying up in the hopes that amy accepts my invite to do work here instead of at the library,
a. its nice weather,
b. she wants to watch to the rugby too anyway
c. i REALLLY LIKEEEE HERRRRR
d. i’m not good enough for her aha, so i hope she’s not thinking im trying anything :/ (im too innocent too aha)
e. she can do much better anyway but we’ve been getting really close recently like best friends more so than what i want, but im hoping if i lose some weight and become more visually appealing living with her next year could change that ^_^
f. she’s probably gonna say no and il feel like a lonely bum.